


i just wanted you to know (this is me trying)

by teen_content_queen



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Aaron and Neil don't hate each other, Alternate Universe - No Exy (All For The Game), College AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kevin and Neil are best friends, M/M, Mutual Pining, brief mentions of scars, but this is mostly fluff so, everyone except Kevin still had the same trauma, in fact they're roommates, very very lightly implied more like if you know you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25700350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teen_content_queen/pseuds/teen_content_queen
Summary: Neil Josten has one best friend, a roommate he likes enough to eat dinner with regularly, and a track scholarship at Palmetto State University. He's nothing and he's okay with that. Until Andrew Minyard shows up and Neil thinks that maybe together, they could be something.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 91
Kudos: 486





	1. Twinyard Confusion

“Hello?” Neil pushed open the door to his dorm room, a little relieved to not hear the tell-tale shuffle of his roommate’s feet along the carpet in their shared bedroom. Locking the door behind him, Neil toed off his shoes, leaving them neatly in the corner where a line of shoes sat. A noticeable gap told Neil that Aaron had taken his sneakers and was most likely at the gym. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Aaron, it was just that he’d had a long day and needed a few minutes to himself. No one warned him that college would be a constant barrage of ice breakers and study groups and avoiding questioning gazes as people examined his scars. He did appreciate that when he’d moved in, Aaron had taken one look at him, let out a huff and asked if he wanted to get dinner in the dining hall attached to their dorm. 

Now three weeks into the semester, Neil and Aaron had made dinner together their daily ritual. They never really discussed it, but they’d always show up at the dining hall around 7, and sit at the table in the far corner, where Neil could watch all the exits and Aaron could avoid the overly-friendly biology majors who seem to travel in a pack. Neil had once seen them trap Aaron outside of their dorm for twenty minutes talking about some scientific discovery that Neil couldn’t be bothered to understand.

For now though, Neil was happy to have the dorm to himself. Flinging his bag onto his bed, he stretched out across the couch and flicked on the television. He’d just found the sports network when there was a rap on the door. Neil froze in his spot. The TV was turned low, so if he didn’t move, the person may just go away. Another rap.

“Neil! I can hear ESPN. Let me in.”

Ah. That was a voice he recognized. Neil felt his shoulder loosen and drop as he swung his legs over onto the floor and made his way to the door. 

Kevin looked like he was about ready to pound on the door again when Neil opened it, looking up at his best friend. Kevin gave him a small nod of a greeting and walked past him to sit on the couch. 

“Can I help you?”

“I was bored.”

“So you decided to come bother me?”

“It’s not like you were doing anything.”

“But what if I was?”

“Like what? I know you wouldn’t have a girl over and you went for a run this morning.”

“I could have had homework to do.”

Kevin scoffed at that and turned the TV up a notch. He looked at Neil’s backpack, haphazardly abandoned on his bed. 

“It’s the third week. I’m assuming even you couldn’t be that far behind on your work.”

Now it was Neil’s turn to scoff. 

“I’m keeping up!”

“My dad will be so proud.” Kevin mocked, looking from Neil to the screen, the sports network covering a rerun of an old baseball game. Neil had never understood the sport. It was far too peaceful for his taste.

“Speaking of you dad, did you finally ask Thea to be your date to the wedding?”

Kevin stiffened and kept his eyes off of Neil.

“Can we not talk about it?”

Neil raised an eyebrow.

“Thea or the wedding.”

“Thea.”

That caught Neil’s attention. Kevin and Thea had been together since freshman year of high school, and even though she’d ended up at a different college than the boys, Neil had always assumed that they would make it work. But Kevin had asked not to talk about it, so Neil shut his mouth and dutifully sat down on the couch to watch baseball. The Los Angeles Dodgers were playing the Boston Red Sox. 

“The Dodgers win this game.” Kevin said, eyes still focused on the screen. 

“Go Red Sox!” Neil said with feigned enthusiasm. 

“Why are you rooting for the Red Sox?”

“I love an underdog story.”

Kevin let out a breathy laugh and Neil relaxed into the couch. 

“Am I ever going to meet your roommate?” He asked, looking around the room like he’d suddenly noticed that it was just the two of them. Neil shrugged.

“Eventually, I guess.”

“You haven’t killed him or any, have you?”

“No. He’s quiet, and we eat dinner together.”

“Wait...does Neil Josten have a friend?”

Neil hit him with a pillow. Kevin backed out of the way, pushing the pillow towards Neil.

“When you say that, it implies we’re not friends.” Neil said, finally dropping the pillow onto his lap. Kevin gave him a smirk.

“We’re not friends, Neil. We’re brothers.”

Neil rolled his eyes, equally amused and disgusted by Kevin’s sentimental nature. 

“If we’re brothers, Wymack can pay my tuition, right?” He joked. 

“Your track scholarship is doing that.” Kevin reminded him.

“And Mary left more than enough to cover the rest.” Neil added, quick to whack Kevin with the pillow again to keep the reference to his late mother from bringing down the mood. Kevin allowed for the distraction, ripping the pillow from Neil’s hands to hit him with it a few times. Finally, he dropped the pillow and stood up.

“Dad said we have to do brunch with him and Abby on Saturday. Something about groomsmen duties.”

“Yeah yeah. I’ll be there.”

“Pick you up around 10?”

Neil gave him a nod and followed him to the door, locking it behind him. He looked back at the TV but decided he’d had enough of baseball, instead turning off the game and pulling his backpack from his bed. He dug out his Calculus book and a notebook and got to work on the homework he’d been putting off. 

He’d been working for about twenty minutes when he heard the front door unlock and saw Aaron slip off his sneakers. He gave Neil a nod before disappearing into the bathroom. The sound of the shower echoed through the quiet dorm room as Neil checked the time. Almost 6:30, meaning he and Aaron would head to dinner as soon as Aaron finished cleaning up. Neil slid his homework back into his backpack, content to push it off for another day. 

Aaron and Neil walked towards the doors of the dining hall, careful to avoid the flocks of freshman surging ahead of them. Neil had heard rumblings about one of the other dining halls closing for maintenance but hadn’t taken into consideration that it would mean an influx of new people to the one conveniently located near his dorm. He recoiled a bit as a girl’s thick red braids hit his arm as she strode past, exchanging a look with Aaron. It wasn’t too late to turn back and eat the instant noodles they’d stored up there for late night snacks. Aaron seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“Andrew?” 

Neil turned to see Kevin quickly approaching.

“Neil, you didn’t tell me you knew my roommate.”

Neil eyed Kevin and then flicked his gaze to Aaron, who was scowling at Kevin. 

“This is my roommate.” Neil insisted, pointing to Aaron as if that explained everything. Kevin looked between them and then gave Aaron a once over. 

“Aaron, this is Kevin.” 

Kevin was still staring. 

“He’s usually more polite than this.” Neil said, giving Kevin a look and pulling him out of his daze. 

“Sorry. You just look so much like my roommate Andrew.”

“Well he is my twin, so I would hope so.” Aaron offered. 

Neil felt his eyes go wide. In nearly a month of living together, Aaron had never mentioned a brother. Come to think of it, he’d never mentioned any family, except for a passing comment about his mother being gone. 

“What are the chances of that? Come on. Let’s all eat together. Maybe you can coax more than five words out of Andrew for me.” Kevin said, giving them his winning smile. 

Aaron just scowled but followed Kevin towards the dining hall, Neil pulling up the rear. After they collected their trays, they followed Kevin to the back of the room, towards the left instead of the right. Sure enough, there was another platinum blonde boy sitting at the table, arms folded tight across his chest, black bands hiding the skin from wrist to elbow. 

But where Kevin had gotten it wrong was implying Aaron and Andrew looked alike. Sure, they had all of the same physical features, but their expressions were totally different. While Aaron sulked and scowled his way through most social interactions, Andrew looked at the arriving trio with the blank stare of indifference. 

Aaron eyed his brother wearily and set his belongings down on the other side of the table from him, forcing Neil and Kevin to fill in the gaps between. Kevin gave Neil a look, as if trying to see if his best friend knew more about this than he did. His glance was just met with a shrug. 

“So you have a brother.” Kevin offered, directing his inquiry to Andrew, who just stared back at him. 

“We also have a cousin but he lives on the other side of campus, so he’ll have to miss out on this family reunion.” Aaron offered while Andrew continued to watch them.

Kevin gawked, and Neil just nodded, taking a bite of food. If Aaron didn’t want him to know about his family, Neil wasn’t going to press. He knew better than anyone what a sour subject family could be. When he looked up, he found Andrew staring at him while he played with a steak knife. Neil assumed he was trying to be intimidating, but couldn’t be sure if it was for Aaron’s benefit or his annoyance. 

Aaron was apparently pretending his brother didn’t exist, instead giving Kevin short answers to the questions Kevin was peppering him with. Let the two of them fill the silence. Neil was happy to just eat his food and then get back to his room to sleep. Or at least try. He’d been having nightmares again, and sleep had become harder to come by each night. 

When he looked back at Andrew again, Andrew had shifted his focus to the point of his knife, carefully sliding the blade under his fingernails. Neil watched him do this, the gleam of the blade frighteningly familiar to him. 

“Staring.” Andrew said, eyes still on the blade. If Neil hadn’t been watching him so closely, he probably wouldn’t have heard him over the dull roar of the full dining hall. 

“Sorry.” He replied, averting his eyes back to his own dinner. 

“You’re my brother’s roommate.” 

“Yeah. Neil Josten.”

“Don’t care.”

“That’s okay. I’m nobody and nothing.” Neil said, taking a bite of his meal. Andrew looked up at him now, sliding the knife back onto the table. 

“You smoke Neil Josten?”

Neil nodded. Smoking had always been his mother’s habit, and in high school, he’d found the smell of it settled his frayed nerves better than any meditation Bee had recommended or the new workout routine Kevin could provide. He cut down considerably when he got into running track and had spent the good part of his senior year kicking the habit so he could keep up with the college teams he was desperate to impress.

Andrew stood without another word and the movement pulled Aaron and Kevin’s focus away from their conversation. 

“Your roommate and I are going to smoke.”

Kevin looked like he was about to protest but one look at Neil and he quieted down. Aaron looked from Neil to Andrew and shrugged.

“Don’t kill him.”

Neil wasn’t sure who Aaron was talking to, but he followed Andrew anyway, slipping out of the dining hall and up the stairs to the rooftop. From here, Neil could see the whole Palmetto State campus, spread out and dripping in the vibrant golden hues of sunset. 

Andrew took his seat on the edge, feet swinging over the open air. Neil cautiously took a spot next to him, leaving enough space so each man could move his arms freely without bumping into the other. He saw Andrew eyeing that bit of distance and wondered if he’d left too much room for what others would consider normal. Not that there was anything normal about smoking on a rooftop with your roommate’s twin you didn’t know existed until an hour ago. 

The spark of the lighter pulled Neil out of his thoughts and he took the cigarette Andrew offered, cupping it between his hands to direct the smoke into his face. As he inhaled, he felt the warm tendrils of the smoke curl into his body and release the tension from his shoulders. 

“Thanks.”

Andrew gave him a grunt in response and they sat, watching the last minutes of sunlight fade from the sky, the sky shifting from vibrant yellow and pink to inky purple as the stars began to peek out. 

“Tell me one true thing about you.”

Neil stared out at the skyline, the buildings coming to life as lights inside clicked on. He thought about what he could tell Andrew. There were so many things about Neil that didn’t feel wholly true, so many parts of him that he’d built up to make himself more digestible to the people around him. Instead, he went for the most vile, truest thing he had, the rotten root at the center of it all. 

“My father killed my mother. And he’s a part of the mafia.” 

“Two for the price of one.” Andrew said. 

Neil almost laughed. What person hears those ugly things and just ignores them. 

“I was feeling generous.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Fine, then I felt like they were two parts of the same truth.” Neil offered. 

This time, Andrew just nodded. Neil watched in his peripheral vision as Andrew took the last drag of his cigarette and flicked it off the roof before pulling out another one. He took the second cigarette as a compliment. It meant he was interesting enough to endure for one more smoke.

“I killed Aaron’s mother.” 

“Was she not your mother too?”

“No.”

Neil let that linger for a moment, instead watching the smoke rise above Andrew's head and disappear into the ever darkening night sky. 

“I’ve lived with Kevin and his dad since I was 12. They’re the closest thing I have to family now.”

“There you go, offering up truths freely again.”

“I assume if you don’t like them, you’ll leave me up here.”

“Or I’ll push you.” Andrew said. 

“I’d drag you with me.”

Andrew peered over the edge, as if weighing his chances. He leaned back and looked at Neil. 

“I’m afraid of heights.”

That did get a laugh from Neil, although it was short. More of a surprised snort than a belly laugh.

“What are we doing on the roof then?”

Andrew shrugged and turned back towards the campus. Neil noticed that the bright LED lights had kicked on in the parking lot now, catching Andrew’s blonde locks and giving them an almost translucent glow. Neil watched him for a beat before turning back to watch the campus below. 

After a few more minutes, Andrew stood up and moved from the roof’s edge. Neil clambered up and followed him back down the stairs. He left Neil at the entrance to his dorm without another word. Neil smiled anyway. 


	2. The Power of a Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin doesn't understand why Andrew wants to eat dinner with his brother again.
> 
> This chapter's from *Andrew's POV* and they'll alternate back and forth each time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, we've made so much progress since the first chapter. There's an official chapter count and even an actual outline so I know where this is going. I'm adding any trigger warnings I can think of in the tags as I write, but if I miss something I'M SO SORRY - just tell me and I'll fix it.

Andrew watched the clock on his nightstand, the red glow casting shadows on the walls. Three am. He shifted, laying flat on the bed so he could stare up at the empty ceiling. He felt too hot, the late August humidity cutting through the poorly ventilated dorms and pushing down on him.

He threw back the covers and tried to switch positions, staring at the closet, which had been left slightly ajar. From his bed, he could see Kevin’s dirty t-shirt bundled on the floor. For a man who takes such good care of himself, he was terrible at taking care of his surroundings. Andrew huffed and rolled out of his bed and into the hallway, pulling on his sneakers as he headed towards the exit. 

He felt better already, the promise of fresh air enough to soothe his claustrophobic thoughts. A light at the end of the hall slowed his walk down to a shuffle, and he saw it was coming from the study lounge that separated the boys’ wing from the girls’. Andrew would never study there himself, the room barely larger than his dorm room and usually full of engineering students stinking up the place with their anxiety. 

Tonight though, it was just one girl, hair multi-colored and held back with a thin fabric headband. She was curled into one of the stiff couches, a book in her hands. Andrew couldn’t make out the title but the well-loved nature of the pages suggested she wasn’t reading for class. He considered stopping but the draw of the outside was too strong. He gave her one more glance before slipping into the stairwell. 

It wasn’t until he was pushing open the door that Andrew realized his feet had carried him to the roof above the dining hall again, where he'd been only six hours before. He took in a deep breath, liking the way the cool air filled his lungs and grounded him, fingers tugging at the edges of his arm bands. They were lighter without his knives but in his rush to escape the dorms, he’d decided against collecting them. He wouldn’t need them anyway, the campus a liminal space for at least another hour, empty of both the late night library crowd and the early morning runners. 

A movement in the shadows of the roof caught Andrew’s attention. Apparently he wasn’t as alone as he thought. 

“Andrew?” 

The voice cut through the quiet buzz of the LED lights from the parking lot. Andrew placed it immediately, perfect memory hard at work even when the rest of Andrew’s mind was heavy with sleep deprivation. 

“Josten.”

With that, Neil stepped into the soft pool of light offered by the moon and the campus security lights. He was wearing grey sweatpants with PSU Track written up the thigh and a t-shirt at least two sizes too big for his small frame. His red hair stuck out in all directions, almost maroon in the blue light of the moon above. Andrew scowled as he turned towards the campus, moving towards the edge to take his seat. Apparently, Neil took that as an invitation and joined him, leaving a comfortable gap between that Andrew had noticed the last time and assumed had been an accident. Apparently it wasn't.

“What are you doing up?” Neil asked, voice light and alive in the heavy silence that the hours before sunset always seemed to carry. 

Andrew considered ignoring him. He hadn’t been expecting company when he’d escaped the confines of his dorm. If he’d wanted to talk, he could have stopped into the study room to talk to the girl with the book. At least he knew she was interested in literature. All he had in common with Neil was his brother and even that was a stretch. 

“Couldn’t sleep. Too hot.” Andrew offered. In his peripheral vision, he saw Neil nod. 

“Nightmare.” Neil replied, tone clipped like he was trying to keep the taste of it out of his mouth. 

“What about?”

Andrew wondered for a brief moment why he was still talking. He didn’t remember making the choice to engage in conversation with his brother’s roommate.

“My father.”

Andrew nodded and pulled out his cigarettes. He’d left the knives but he hadn’t been in so much of a rush that he had left his room empty handed. He offered one to Neil and watched as the red head took it, trying to hide the slight tremor in his hands with quick movements. He took the unlit stick to his lips and just sat with it for a moment, seemingly content to just go through the motions of smoking. Watching his fingers tremble in his lap, Andrew lit his own cigarette and then offered Neil the lighter, flame glowing golden between them. He couldn’t trust the kid’s hands to hold steady enough to light it on his own. Neil leaned into Andrew’s space long enough to get his cigarette going and then quickly retreated. 

“You remind me of a rabbit.” Andrew offered, smoke curling in tendrils above his head without a breeze to carry it off. Neil looked at him, waiting. 

“You’re flighty. Almost like you’re ready to run at any moment.”

Neil looked down at the hand in his lap. His expression suggested Andrew had hit the nail on the head. 

“I haven’t needed to run since I was 12. But that’s all I seem to do in the dreams.”

“Kevin never drove you crazy enough to consider it after that.”

“No.” Neil said, in a way that suggested to Andrew he did not take kindly to anyone questioning Kevin’s honor. 

Andrew didn’t push it, instead focusing his attention on his cigarette and the way that Neil never seemed to smoke his. He did just the bare minimum to keep it lit, seemingly just breathing in the smoke as the stick burned down to the filter. He didn’t ask about it. Wasn’t hurting him any. The man should be able to enjoy his cigarette however he wanted. 

“You don’t want to run away, but you do run.” Andrew finally said. Neil gazed at him, unsure. 

“The sweatpants, Rabbit.” 

In the low light of the rooftop, it was hard to make out the blush on Neil’s cheeks as he looked from Andrew to his own thigh, so Andrew decided it must be a trick of the light. 

“Oh yeah. Kevin’s dad is the coach. He also runs. Kevin does, I mean.”

Andrew nodded at this. He knew of course that Kevin was some kind of athlete, between the healthy meals he insisted to Andrew weren’t as bad as they seemed and the nearly religious sanctity he placed on his gym schedule. Andrew probably would have even known the sport if he’d bothered to ask, or had listened when Kevin droned on at him those first few days in the dorms. But he hadn’t, because Kevin wasn’t that interesting. No one was very interesting to Andrew. 

“We used to run on the same track team in middle school. That’s how we met.”

“Touching.”

They sat in silence. It wasn’t exactly comfortable like other lulls in their conversation had been. This time, Andrew had the urge to fill it. 

“Aaron played football in high school. That’s how I found him. His team made it to States his sophomore year and he got interviewed by the news.”

“Must have felt like watching an alternate timeline of your life seeing him like that.”

Andrew nodded. He could still remember looking at Aaron’s face on his television screen, a funhouse mirror version of him scowling back through the glass. 

“I found Nicky’s contact information online. He and Aaron picked me up from foster care the next day.”

Neil looked away from Andrew to watch the campus below, voice low.

“Do you miss your foster family?”

“No.”

Andrew did not explain. Neil did not ask him to. 

Instead they sat, watching as the sky lightened and the sun began to emerge. 

“I’m going for a run. Want to come?” Neil asked, shooting Andrew a look, the ghost of a smirk on his lips. 

“No, run on your own, Rabbit.”

Neil gave him a nod and Andrew stood, knowing somehow Neil wouldn’t leave until he did. Together, they padded down the stairs, passing the dining hall entrance just as the first student employee rolled in. If the tall boy noticed them, he didn’t acknowledge it.

Outside, Andrew gave Neil a two finger salute and began the short walk to his dorm. 

“Bye Drew.” Neil called over his shoulder, already barreling down the sidewalk in an easy jog. Andrew stopped dead in his tracks and looked back, but the rabbit was already too far down the path to be bothered. He huffed and scowled, but turned back in the direction of his dorm.

The girl was gone from the study lounge but Kevin was just starting to stir when Andrew slipped into bed. His eyes were heavy and his body was tired, finally so tired. The last thought Andrew had before he slipped under was “Drew”.

One benefit of not having Friday classes was that Andrew could sleep as long as he wanted to, with nothing to disturb him other than Kevin’s alarm clock, which sounded just as Andrew had reached REM sleep. He chucked a spare pillow, and smiled into his mattress as the thud and Kevin’s groan assured him that he’d hit his target. After that, his morning drifted away again and it wasn’t until Kevin arrived from his morning classes that Andrew finally stirred from his bed. 

“Morning sleepyhead.” Kevin said, voice too cheery for Andrew’s half-awake mind. He considered the location of his knives but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Instead Andrew climbed out and pushed past Kevin to get to the bathroom. 

After a quick shower and a mug of coffee, Andrew felt nearly human. Kevin had already slipped out again, mumbling something about lunch with a study group as Andrew was doctoring his coffee with enough sugar to make the black sludge that Kevin made bearable. 

TV playing in the background as filler, Andrew’s attention drifted to his computer. He had a few emails from TAs about study materials and pop quizzes as well as an email from Nicky reminding Andrew and Aaron they’d agreed to go to family dinner on Saturday. He’d included a link for a few restaurant options and a reminder that Aaron had picked last time, so it was Andrew’s turn. Andrew clicked through the links. He knew Aaron hated spicy food and briefly considered the hot wings place just to annoy him. Instead he responded with apathy, selecting a restaurant from the list at random and telling Aaron he’d pick him up at 6:30. He almost included a jab at Nicky for emailing instead of texting, but knew the old school communication was more for Andrew’s benefit than anyone else, the old school flip phone in his pocket not compatible with Nicky’s flair for hyperlinks. 

He let his eyes wander back to the TV for a moment, watching as a shark circled a lonely diver on whatever nature documentary Discovery was playing. Once he was satisfied the diver was in no real danger, he let his attention go back to his screen. His cursor hovered over the search bar where he’d typed in “Neil Josten”. If this guy was going to be living with his brother from the next nine months, Andrew ought to know more about him. He deleted the name from the search bar, instead looking up information on the lemon shark that the diver was talking about. He was still researching sharks when Kevin came back, and only then did Andrew realize it had gotten darker in the dorm, the afternoon light fading as it approached sunset. 

“Hungry?” Kevin asked. “I think the dining hall is still closed but we could…”

“Don’t suggest I eat some of your fake food Kevin.”

“It’s not fake! Tofu is a viable protein option!”

Andrew stood, shutting his laptop and flipping off the TV. He put his laptop on his desk and grabbed a sweatshirt from the chair beside it. 

“We’re eating with my brother.”

He couldn’t hear if Kevin objected to his decision, already out in the hallway before Kevin could discard his school bag and grab his wallet. They were halfway across campus before Kevin said anything at all.

“Are you and your brother close?”

“No.”

“Then why are we eating with him?”

Andrew just shrugged. 

“The ice cream in that dining hall was tolerable.”

Kevin just shrugged, clearly not concerned about it. He pulled out his phone and clicked a few buttons, raising the phone to his ear. 

“We’re eating dinner with you.”

Kevin put a hand in his pocket, striding alongside Andrew. 

“Andrew and I. Yeah, right now.”

Kevin ended the call, sliding the phone and his free hand into his empty pocket. 

“You don’t believe in texting?” 

Kevin looked at Andrew and Andrew wondered momentarily is this was the first time he’d started a conversation with Kevin about anything other than their living situation. 

“No, I do. Neil doesn’t. Not really. It was hard enough just to get him to keep his phone on him. And it’s not even a nice phone. It’s just a flip phone with limited GPS capability so he can’t get lost on a run.” 

Andrew grunted, but his hand found his own blocky flip phone in his pocket. 

“He seems like an idiot.”

Kevin tossed his head back to let out a laugh and then eyed Andrew again. When he realized Andrew wasn’t kidding, he shook his head.

“Neil’s smart. I mean the guy is double majoring in mathematics and linguistics. He just lacks basic survival instincts.”

“Rabbit.” Andrew muttered, earning a look from Kevin that Andrew blatantly ignored. 

In the dining hall, they collected their food and headed towards the back. Sitting at the same table from the night before, Andrew found Neil and Aaron quietly discussing a sports game that was playing on the televisions around the perimeter of the hall. 

“I think he’d be stupid to bench her for that.” Neil said, giving Andrew a smile as he slipped into the seat next to him and across from Aaron.

“He’s a stupid coach. That’s why their team loses so often.”

Kevin dove right in.

“Don’t mind Neil. He’ll always root for the underdog.”

“Even when they don’t have a chance?” Aaron asked, head motioning to the sports station above them.

“Especially then.” Kevin said, giving Neil a look that bordered on pity. 

Andrew raised an eyebrow but Neil didn’t seem slighted by his friend’s tone. Instead, he just took a bit of his pasta and flicked his eyes back to the screen before moving them over to Andrew, startlingly blue in the light of the dining hall. Andrew was distracted though by the bags under them, deeper and darker than was healthy for anyone. He wondered if Neil had slept at all since he’d last seen him, or if he’d even slept since they’d met the day before. 

But before he could say anything, Kevin started talking about something sports related and Neil looked from Andrew to Kevin across the table, nodding and smiling at whatever the other man had contributed to this thoroughly boring conversation.

Andrew stayed silent, listening to bits and pieces, mostly amused by the way Neil seemed to know which buttons to push to get a rise out of Kevin. More than once Andrew saw the sliver of a smile on his brother’s face when the red head landed an especially good quip against his taller companion. Aaron and Andrew may not agree on much, but instigating trouble was their shared language, something that transcended whatever nature versus nurture bullshit had kept them from growing up as clones with matching personalities to go with their shared appearance. 

Once Neil had finished his pasta, he looked over at Andrew, already finishing his second ice cream helping. 

“Smoke?” He asked. 

Andrew just gave a curt nod and stood. Aaron watched them with interest while Kevin just watched Neil with something like concern lurking behind his green eyes. Neil didn’t seem to notice though, eyes on Andrew until they were side by side walking out of the dining hall. Neither said anything more until they were situated on the edge of the rooftop, an inch closer together than last time, cigarettes dangling from their fingers. 

“Sorry Kevin dragged you over here for dinner again.”

Andrew grunted. 

“It was my idea.”

Neil looked at him now, and Andrew glared back at his wide smirk.

“You wanted to have dinner together?”

“With Aaron.”

Neil wasn’t phased, a smile still plastered onto his face. Andrew reached out and pushed his chin away so Neil was forced to look out over the campus while Andrew kept his eyes on the parking lot below. 

“Andrew Minyard, are we becoming friends?”

“We’re nothing.”

Neil just chuckled, so quietly it was almost swept away with the breeze. 

The night was cooler than the last, and as the sun finally dipped below the horizon, Andrew pulled his hood over his head. He chewed on the string while he contemplated another cigarette. Beside him, Neil had grown quiet and unnaturally still, at least for a rabbit. Andrew let himself gaze over at him, tracking the thin scars around his cheek bones. He lit another cigarette for both of them, and handed it over, Neil barely pulling out of whatever hole his mind had burrowed into. He closed his eyes, breathing the smoke in with long even breaths. 

“Where did you live before you moved in with Nicky and Aaron?”

“California.”

Neil nodded, and considered the half of his cigarette glowing between his fingers. 

“We stuck to the coastal states, but never quite made it through California. My mom always preferred the east coast.”

Andrew nodded, and Neil continued, telling Andrew about life on the run with his mom. About the towns and identities and his father and how it had all ended with Wymack fighting with the FBI to let Neil Josten stay in Palmetto.

By the end of Neil’s story, they’d migrated away from the roof’s edge to lay out, the light pollution low enough that Andrew could make out dozens of stars overhead. It helped that there wasn’t a game or the stadium lights would have drowned out everything. Instead, they could just hear the Friday night crowds beginning to trickle out into the streets, filling the bars and restaurants just beyond the edge of campus.

They laid there in silence after Neil finished his story, the weight of it like a blanket over the serenity of the late summer night. Andrew thought about names and their power and how no one had ever called him Drew before. He shifted onto his side, about to say as much to Neil when he saw that the rabbit had fallen asleep at some point, eyes closed and face finally unguarded. Andrew watched him for a few minutes, before finally closing his eyes too.

He could have sworn he heard a whispered “Goodnight Drew.”


	3. Brunch with the Wymacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil isn’t at his dorm when Kevin comes to pick him up for brunch with Wymack and Abby. He may have fallen asleep on a rooftop...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow Kevin's become more of a Matt/Kevin hybrid, but I like it.

The hazy sky overhead was barely enough to wake Neil, although the hard surface beneath his back had done nothing to help the knot beneath his shoulder blade and the pillow under his head was scratchy on his scars. He felt a vibration in his pocket and his brain took a moment to connect the sensation to his phone. Eyes still closed, he fumbled the phone out and brought it to his ear. 

“Where are you?” Kevin asked, sounding more concerned than peeved.

“Uh.”

Neil sat up, looking around. He was greeted with a view of campus, and a black hoodie clad Andrew next to him, head under a pillow that Neil now recognized as one from the couches in the lobby of the dining hall. 

“The roof?”

He heard Kevin let out a breath on the other end of the line. 

“Well, are you coming to brunch with me or not?”

Neil hesitated. 

“Right. Brunch. Yes, I’m coming.”

“Then would you hurry up please. Tell me you’re ready to go at least.”

Neil looked down, his clothes a bit disheveled. He could only imagine his hair looked worse. 

“I just need 15 minutes.”

Kevin let out a sigh. 

“I’ll meet you at my car. And you’re explaining to Abby why we’re late.”

Neil hung up and looked over at Andrew. He was looking back at him now, eyes slightly peeled open. 

“Morning.” He said.

Andrew just grunted and pulled himself up, stretching his arms above his head as Neil attempted to not look at the sliver of skin exposed at the bottom of his hoodie. 

“I have to meet Kevin. I’m going to brunch with his dad and…”

“I don’t care.”

Neil smiled anyway, waiting until Andrew stood to get up. They picked up their pillows and traipsed down the stairs together, tossing the pillows on the couch as they passed through the dining hall. There were more people milling about this morning, but none of them seemed to notice Andrew and Neil appearing from the unmarked door to the roof. 

“What are you doing today?”

“Sleeping. I have to get rid of the knot in my shoulder from sleeping on the roof with you.” 

Neil smiled.

“No one forced you to sleep up there with me.”

“Then you shouldn’t have fallen asleep.”

Neil watched Andrew for a moment, blue eyes meeting hazel. 

“No. I think it’s because you like me.”

“I hate you.”

Neil just gave him a nod, knowing he was threading a fine line between Andrew tolerating him and Andrew stabbing him. 

“Okay Drew, whatever you say.”

He turned and headed towards his dorm before the shorter boy could say anything, but not before he caught the full blush on Andrew’s pale cheeks. Andrew grunted something behind him but Neil couldn’t make it out over the sound of his heart beating in his ears. 

Neil hurried through his dorm, giving Aaron a brief nod as he shut the bedroom door. Slipping out of his clothes from the night before, he heard Aaron pad closer to the bedroom.

“Did you sleep over at a girl’s place or something?”

Neil nearly tripped on the jeans he was pulling on. Aaron didn’t know he’d been with Andrew all night?

“Uh no. I’m not really into girls.”

“Oh okay. Sorry. Was it a guy’s place then?”

Neil chuckled, hearing the underlying question. 

“I don’t swing either way.” 

There was silence on the other side of the door as Neil pulled on a presentable button up that Abby had bought him for Christmas the year before. Even after six years, he still found himself drawn to oversized clothes but he was getting better about only wearing them when he was hanging around the house or running basic errands. 

He opened the door and found Aaron had retreated to the couch. 

“I’m asexual, so…”

He didn’t know where he was going with that, but Aaron gave him a nod. 

“We’re covering that in my Women’s and Gender Studies class next unit.” 

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

With that over with, Neil gave him the two fingered salute he’d seen Andrew give and slipped out the door. 

He found Kevin waiting on the hood of his black Mustang, sunglasses perched on the end of his nose so he could look over them at his phone. Neil moved towards the passenger seat, and swung the door open. 

“Day, let’s go. We’re gonna be late.”

Kevin looked from his phone to Neil.

“You sneaky little bastard.”

Neil just smirked and plopped into the seat. He was the only one to drive with Kevin, so the seat was already adjusted to his preferences but he clicked a few buttons on the dashboard anyway.

“Did you just turn on your seat heater? It’s almost ninety degrees out.”

“I have a knot in my back.”

Kevin looked at him, suddenly serious.

“Did you go see the trainer? Did you pull something?”

Neil waved him off.

“I’m fine. Just slept funny.”

Kevin finally took his eyes off of Neil so he could focus on driving. 

“When did you get back to the room? I went back with Aaron and we played video games in your living room. We kept expecting you and Andrew to show up. Aaron’s cool by the way.”

Neil hesitated, but seeing as Andrew never lied, he knew Kevin would find out eventually. 

“This morning.”

Kevin hit the brakes aggressively as they came to a stop sign. 

“You what? Then where did you sleep?”

“The roof.”

“Neil! You slept on the roof?!? What is wrong with you?”

“It wasn’t as uncomfortable as it sounds.”

“But why?”

“I feel asleep.”

“And you just slept up there all night by yourself?”

“No, Andrew was there.”

“Andrew...was...there?”

“How did you not notice he wasn’t in your room this morning?”

The car behind them beeped its horn, forcing Kevin to look away from Neil to pull into the intersection and continue onto the main road. 

“When did you and my roommate become friends?”

Neil shrugged, realizing that Kevin couldn’t probably see it but not bothering with a verbal response. They weren’t friends anyway, at least not according to Andrew.

Kevin had run out of time to interrogate Neil about it anymore though, pulling into a spot outside the restaurant where Abby and Wymack were waiting for them. Neil checked the dashboard clock. They were five minutes early.

“You knew I’d be late?” He guessed, gesturing to the time.

“I assumed you’d either be dead to the world or getting back from a morning run. I padded a little.” Kevin said, giving him a look that suggested his rooftop slumber party had not been forgotten. 

They didn’t get a chance to discuss it though, because Neil was being pulled into a hug from Abby while David Wymack and his son discussed the sports results that had petered in throughout the morning. 

“Neil, are you eating enough?” Abby asked.

“Honey, you just saw him two weeks ago.” David said, squeezing her shoulder. She moved on from Neil to Kevin, letting him wrap his arms around her shoulders to pull her in for a hug. 

“Hi Mom.” Kevin whispered, almost too quiet for Neil to hear. 

David and Abby had been together for so long that Kevin had never really known anything else. It was actually Kevin who’d insisted that David finally pop the question, and he took his role as Best Man very seriously. To his credit, there wasn’t much Kevin didn’t take seriously, from sports to nutrition to his studies.

“Who’s hungry?”

Neil followed Wymack in, letting Kevin and Abby follow behind, already chattering about floral arrangements and table settings. Wymack watched them for a moment and looked at Neil.

“You’re going to be in charge of that one. Make sure he has a nice time at the wedding and doesn’t kill anyone in the process.”

“You’ve got it Coach.”

Wymack gave him a pat on the shoulder before turning to the host at the entrance to give his name for the reservation. 

By the time they were finished eating, Kevin and Abby had locked down most of the wedding details and Wymack and Neil had figured out the best practice schedule for the track team.

Being the coach’s adopted son had given Neil an inside look at collegiate track since he was a preteen, and he knew better than almost anyone, except Kevin - the golden boy of the sport, how to train athletes to their full potential. Multiple notepads now littered each side of the table alongside empty plates and coffee mugs, with times and names written on each for very different reasons. 

Neil followed the Wymacks out of the restaurant, and gave Abby another hug before offering Wymack a quick salute as he slid into Kevin’s car for the short trip back to the dorms. Kevin lasted through the first stop light before he started asking questions again.

“Am I allowed to talk to Andrew about your little sleepover?”

“If you want. It’s your funeral.”

Kevin shot him a look. Neil just shrugged. He hadn’t known Andrew long but he imagined Kevin asking personal questions, even ones about Neil, would not go over well with the fiercely private blonde.

“So do you like him?” Kevin asked. Neil noticed the way he didn’t look from the street when he asked. 

“He seems cool, yeah.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Kevin gripped the steering wheel and then ran a hand through his hair. Neil watched him, fascinated by how uncomfortable he’d become. It took Neil a few seconds to realize what Kevin was really asking him. But Neil was an instigator and a little shit, so he played dumb anyway.

“Huh?”

Kevin let out a huff and readjusted his grip on the wheel again. Neil fought the urge to smile, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough he thought he might draw blood. Kevin sputtered before he finally said,

“I mean are you interested in him? Romantically?”

Neil hesitated. Kevin took the opportunity to continue.

“Because I know you were never interested in anyone in high school but obviously this could be different and I…”

“I wasn’t interested because everyone we went to high school with sucked. You’re dating the only good one.”

Now Kevin shifted in his seat, uncomfortable for an entirely different reason. Neil softened his voice as best he could.

“What’s going on with Thea?”

Kevin bit his lip and Neil caught the flash of sadness cross his eyes before he slid his expression to steely neutral again.

“We broke up.”

Neil had guessed it, even expected it, but the wind rushed out of his lungs all the same. He watched Kevin while Kevin watched the road, pulling into a parking spot outside of Neil’s dorm and keeping his eyes on the building in front of him. 

“Track?” Neil asked, eyes still watching Kevin. 

Kevin just nodded, turning his head to check for any pedestrians walking behind his car. They pulled out and drove deeper into campus, quiet as they passed dorms and classroom buildings on their way to the stadium. Neil dutifully followed Kevin into the locker room, changing in a stall while Kevin stretched. 

They took the track side by side, and Neil let Kevin set their pace. At first, they jogged, just getting warmed up. It wasn’t long though until Kevin was picking up his speed. He was taller than Neil, but Neil could more than make up for it with his natural quickness. As they rounded the track the second time, Neil saw a flicker of something on Kevin’s face. He didn’t get a chance to comment on it though, as Kevin suddenly broke into a sprint, taking the straight away as fast as his legs would carry him. Neil hustled to catch up with him, but even for Neil, it was a quick clip and entirely unsustainable. He backed off, letting Kevin’s back grow smaller as the distance between them grew. Instead Neil focused on his technique and his breathing. It would just irritate Kevin if Neil had sloppy form. 

Kevin made it around the track twice at his breakneck speed and as he slowed down, Neil caught up to him. He wiped at his cheeks, eyes glassy and pink. Neil had never been good with emotions, so he just kept pace with Kevin until Kevin slowed down and finally plopped into the grass in the middle of the track. Neil took a seat next to him, pulling his knees to his chest to look at Kevin. 

“She said it was too hard. She needs to focus on her team, her classes.” 

Neil waited. Kevin pulled at a clump of grass by his hip. 

“I told her we could make it work. That I could drive up to UNC on weekends. It’s not that far.”

Kevin dropped the grass clippings and closed his eyes. 

“She didn’t even want to try.”

Neil let out a breath. He had always liked Thea for her practicality and her determination. When she set her mind to something, she went for it, all out and she didn’t waste her time on anything that wasn’t worth it. Neil just hadn’t expected her relationship with Kevin to be something that wasn’t worth the work. 

Kevin finally met his gaze and Neil lifted a hand to his shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. 

“I’m sorry. Girls suck.”

Kevin laughed a little at that, the sound wet and crackling. He even gave Neil a smile that Neil almost believed.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

Neil popped to his feet and put out a hand to pull Kevin up. Once he was steady on his feet, Neil wrapped an arm around Kevin to pull him in for a hug before dropping his hands and heading towards the locker room. 

“You’re going to be sore tomorrow.” He called over his shoulder.

“Oh, we’re doing ice baths.”

“I don’t need to. I’m not the one who pushed himself over the edge.”

“Have I ever cared about what you wanted, Josten?”

“Fair point.”

When Neil got back to the locker room, he checked his phone and was surprised to find a text from an unknown number.

_ Aaron gave me your number. Apparently he thinks we’re friends. _

_ We’re nothing. _

_ Now he’s getting it.  _

Neil chuckled and slipped the phone back into his bag, but not before saving the contact as “Drew Minyard”. 


	4. Dinner with The Cousins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew goes to dinner with Aaron and Nicky, who suspect there’s something more going on with Neil, but just because Andrew finds the red headed interesting doesn’t mean he’s interested.

“Andrew!” Nicky shouted, waving across the Chinese restaurant. 

He saw Aaron was already seated, eyes glued to his phone as Nicky crossed to greet him. He knew better than to hug Andrew, but he got as close as he could to his younger cousin all the same. 

“Did you find parking okay?”

Andrew just nodded, following Nicky to the table and ignoring the buzz of his phone in his pocket. It was just Neil anyway, continuing his argument in favor of pie over cake. Andrew would have been hard pressed to explain the origin of this particular discussion, but he knew that he was pushing Neil’s buttons fighting for cake and he planned on using the majority of this mandatory dinner crafting the perfect response. 

He slid into the chair across from Aaron, meeting his gaze as his doppelganger looked up at him over his phone.

“Hey. No phones at the table.” Nicky scolded.

Aaron just rolled his eyes but dutifully pocketed the phone as the waitress came up. They were doing the buffet so she grabbed their drink orders and sent them over to the piles of steaming food waiting for them on the other side of the dining room. Aaron and Nicky went straight for the noodles while Andrew grabbed orange chicken and steamed vegetables, piling a small helping of rice over it all before heading back to the table. He beat both Nicky and Aaron back, and so just to keep things interesting, slid into Aaron’s seat instead of his own. 

The waitress returned with their drinks and didn’t even look twice as she set Aaron’s Sprite in front of him and his hot tea on the other side of the table. Nicky waited until she’d finished to flop into his seat, looking up from his plate and catching Andrew’s gaze.

“What are you doing?”

Andrew just gave him a slight smirk that was really nothing more than the slight lift of the corner of his mouth. Aaron returned right on time, and after one look at Andrew, took his seat with a huff. He reached across the table and took his Sprite, taking a sip and breaking apart his chopsticks to dig into the pile of food he’d returned with. 

Nicky just sighed and took a bite. Andrew didn’t look up, but put out a hand. Aaron carefully handed him his tea and the three ate quietly for a few moments. Andrew was honestly impressed by how long Nicky’s restraint lasted. 

“So how’s school going?”

Aaron just shrugged and shoveled another piece of General Tso’s chicken into his mouth. Nicky turned his attention to Andrew. 

“It’s fine.”

“Did you pick a major yet?”

“Have you?”

Nicky narrowed his eyes at Andrew before turning back to his plate.

“Plenty of sophomores are undeclared.”

“I’m pre-med.” Aaron said, meeting Andrew’s gaze as if he was expecting a comment. 

None was coming. As long as Andrew had known Aaron, he’d always known his twin would go into medicine. He was way too good at Biology and paid closer attention to the trainers than the coaches during his years playing football. 

Nicky beamed. 

“Thank god. A doctor in the family. You’ll make lots of money and can take care of me in my old age.”

Aaron laughed and rolled his eyes but Andrew caught the proud smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

“And how are the roommates?” 

Andrew shrugged. Aaron shook his head.

“Kevin’s cool.”

Nicky looked between them.

“I thought Andrew’s roommate was Kevin, and you’re with Noah.”

“Neil.” Andrew corrected, earning a look from Aaron.

“Andrew does live Kevin, but I’ve met him. We all had dinner together a couple times this week.”

“And you didn’t think to invite me?” Nicky feigned offense.

“It wasn’t exactly planned.” Aaron offered, looking at Andrew for backup. Andrew just watched him with a blank stare.

“So you’ve met Kevin...”

“And Andrew’s met Neil. They’ve even become friends.”

“We’re nothing.” Andrew said, catching Aaron’s frown.

“You’ve spent more time with Neil in the past 48 hours than you’ve spent with me since we got to campus.” Aaron offered. 

It wasn’t untrue. Up until two days ago, Andrew and Aaron had barely seen each other in the three weeks they’d been on campus, excluding these weekly dinners with Nicky. 

“Not my fault he’s more interesting than you.”

Aaron just raised an eyebrow while Nicky’s whole face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“You think he’s interesting?” Nicky squealed. 

A couple at the table next to them looked over. Andrew threw them an impassive glance until they got the hint and looked back at their plates. 

“Interesting and annoying.” Andrew corrected, not liking the face his brother and cousin were making.

“Sure. That’s why you asked me for his number.”

“I didn’t ask for his number. I told you to tell him something and you sent me his number.”

“Because I wasn’t going to play telephone with my brother and my roommate.”

“Aaron, are you playing matchmaker?” Nicky asked, eyes lighting up.

Andrew flinched. He did not do relationships, especially with pretty redheads prone to running for fun. Aaron shrugged. 

“No.” Andrew said.

“But you called him interesting!” Nicky said again, as if that was as good as a declaration of love. 

“He’s mildly interesting for now. I’m sure I’ll be bored by next week.”

“And if you’re not?” Nicky asked, eyes bright. 

“I will be.”

“Too bad. He’s my roommate and I like him so you’re stuck with him too.” Aaron said, eyes still on his noodles. 

“Not if I never see you again.” Andrew said, hopeful. Aaron scowled at him.

“Rude.” Nicky sighed. 

Andrew stood up from the table. 

“I’m getting ice cream.”

Nicky waved goodbye as they headed towards their cars, Aaron falling into step behind Andrew. He already had his phone out so Andrew took the opportunity to check his own. Sure enough, there was a message from Neil, delivered around the time he’d gotten to the restaurant an hour before. 

_ Pie at least has the benefit of having fruit in it.  _

Weak, Andrew thought. 

_ By the time that fruit is cooked down and crammed full of sugar, it’s lost any redeeming “nutritional value” it may have had. You sound like Kevin. _

They’d made it halfway across the parking lot when a response came through. 

_ You’re the one talking about the nutritional value. I just like fruit.  _

_ Weirdo. _

_ What? I don’t like things that are super sweet. _

_ Blocking you. _

_ Hey!  _

_ Your message cannot be delivered.  _

_ Andrew  _

_ Your message cannot be delivered.  _

_ Drew _

Andrew unlocked the car, shoving his phone into his pocket and sliding behind the driver’s seat of his Maserati. But before he pulled out of the parking lot, he took out his phone again.

_ I’ll be on the rooftop in twenty minutes. _

_ Is that an invitation or a warning? _

_ Interpret however you want. _

_ I’ll see you in twenty minutes.  _

He tossed the phone in the cupholder and focused on the parking lot, ignoring the slight flutter in his chest. It was from all the sugar. He’d helped himself to two helpings of ice cream. 

If Aaron noticed, he didn’t say anything. His attention was on his own phone, buzzing with an incoming message. Andrew assumed he knew who had stolen his brother’s attention away, but decided not to mention it. Instead, he drove them back towards the dorms. 

Andrew made quick work of changing, replacing the button up he’d worn to dinner with a soft, well-worn t-shirt he’d had since high school and the hoodie that was warm enough to fight off the cool night air. He absentmindedly wondered how long the weather would allow for nights spent on the rooftop with Neil and brushed the thought away. He’d be bored of Neil long before the weather turned.

Kevin looked up from the couch as Andrew came out of the bedroom, some war documentary playing on the TV. Andrew wondered for half a beat if he expected Andrew to watch with him. 

Neil had warned him that Kevin might be a bit of a Debbie Downer for a little while. Between that and the sudden lack of photos of Kevin and a striking woman around Kevin’s side of the dorm, it hadn’t taken much for Andrew to put two and two together. 

“You going out?” He asked. Andrew nodded.

“Want to come?”

“No.”

“Want company?” Andrew asked, doing his best to sound genuine if not excited about the idea.

“No. Thanks.”

With a curt nod, Andrew was out the door. He ignored the tightening in his chest when he thought about how happy Neil would be when Andrew told him about the exchange. Screw that. He wasn’t going to tell him. The image of Neil’s smile flashed in his head anyway.

He was passing the study lounge when he noticed the same girl from the night before, reading the same book. He paused in the doorway. She must have sensed his presence because she looked up and caught his eye. She smiled at him, warm and bright. He gave her a nod back and stepped inside. 

“What are you reading?”

The girl looked from him to her book, like she’d forgotten she had it in her hands. 

“Little Women.”

Andrew nodded. A classic.

“I like Beth best.” He offered. The girl smiled again, nodding as her cotton candy curls bounced. 

“I’m Renee Walker.”

“Andrew Minyard.”

“Nice to meet you.”  
Andrew thought about leaving but hesitated. 

“I noticed you in here the other night.”

Renee’s cheeks went pink as she looked down at her book again.

“My roommate had a...friend over, so I thought I’d give her some privacy.”

“It’s your room too.”

Renee just smiled again.

“Allison has done plenty for me. I was simply returning a favor. Besides, sometimes I have trouble sleeping so it wasn’t much of an inconvenience.”

“You should do what you want.”

“I always do.”

Andrew found himself smiling. Despite her pixie appearance, he recognized something in her expression, her steely gaze and a darker ferocity then her sundress and pastel hair would suggest. 

He liked this Renee girl. Almost enough to invite her to the roof. Almost. But he thought about Neil waiting for him up there, and all of the secrets that still lingered behind his blue eyes, and something about inviting another person suddenly felt sacrilegious. 

“Enjoy the book.”

She gave him another smile before snuggling into her seat again. Andrew took his cue and headed for the door.

The cool night air hit him as he crossed the small patch of campus separating his dorm from the dining hall. As he approached, he looked up and saw a streak of red along the edge of the rooftop, caught in a swatch of moonlight just before a cloud rolled over and the light disappeared.

Pushing open the door to the roof, Andrew found Neil hunkered down along the edge, a little closer than Andrew would comfortably sit. He noticed almost immediately the far away look in Neil’s eyes, gaze fixed on nothing as he looked out on the campus. He didn’t even acknowledge Andrew’s presence as Andrew sat, firmly planted six inches further from the drop than Neil, but limbs close enough to almost touch. 

Andrew tapped his thigh with his shoe and Neil blinked twice before turning his gaze onto Andrew.

“You took longer than twenty minutes.”

“Were you counting?”

Neil shook his head but the corner of his mouth ticked up anyway as he moved back from the edge, lifting himself gracefully to slide backwards to sit beside Andrew. He didn’t move any further away and now their forearms brushed against each other as Neil moved to play with the bandana holding his hair back. Andrew lifted a hand and pinched the orange fabric between his fingers. 

“That’s hideous.”

Neil laughed. 

“It’s not for fashion. I just needed it out of my face.”

“You planning a late night jog?”

Neil shook his head and pulled down the bandana, letting it fall around his neck like a necklace. His curls fell forward, laying across his forehead and partially obstructing his oceanic eyes. He huffed a few times trying to blow the strands away, but gave up. Andrew let out a gruff sigh and reached over to pull the bandana back into place. Neil watched him, studying Andrew’s face as he worked and Andrew tried not to notice the fresh scent of his shampoo or the softness of his curls as he messed with the bandana. When he was finished, he sat back, giving himself a moment to look at Neil; he had to make sure the idiot looked okay.

“Satisfied?” Neil asked, a cheeky grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. Andrew didn’t answer, just pushing Neil’s face away. 

They sat in silence for a moment, and Andrew tried not to notice Neil’s grin in his peripheral vision. 

“Your bestie was watching war documentaries when I left.”

“Ah. Okay. Let me know if you catch him watching anything about 70’s disco.”

“Is that a particular favorite?”

“No. That’s usually his deep, dark hole of sadness phase. I’ll have to lure him out of your room or you’ll find an imprint of him on the couch.”

“Noted.”

After a moment, Andrew spoke again. 

“Think a club would help cheer him up?”

Neil looked at him.

“You know we’re only 18 right?”

“It’s fine. They let college kids in on Saturday nights.”

Neil was watching campus again, but he nodded.

“Place is called Eden’s Twilight. It’s up in Columbia.”

Andrew waited. He didn’t want Neil to feel pressured into doing anything he was uncomfortable with. Neil nodded again.

“Yeah, I think that could be fun.”

“Next weekend.”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a summary of the next chapter as a treat - The boys go to Eden’s. Andrew invites Renee. Katelyn’s there. Kevin hits on her. Neil gets hit on too. What could go wrong? A lot apparently.
> 
> See you next week !


	5. A Night At Eden's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to Eden’s. Andrew invites Renee. Katelyn’s there. Kevin hits on her. Neil gets hit on too. What could go wrong? A lot apparently.

_ I’m coming over at 8. Pack an overnight bag.  _

Neil looked up at the clock on the microwave, clicking over to 8:00 as a knock rang through the dorm. Aaron had disappeared into the bathroom, so Neil pulled himself up from his desk to unlock the door. 

Andrew was waiting in the hall, already dressed in head to toe black, the mock turtleneck of his long sleeve top drawing attention to his Adam’s apple. Neil pretended not to notice. Instead, he moved aside so Andrew could walk past him and straight into Neil’s room. He breezed past Aaron’s closet and pulled open the doors of Neil’s instead. 

He flipped through Neil’s paltry collection of clothes, taking out a pair of skinny jeans Abby had bought him and a tighter fitting dark blue v neck t-shirt. He grabbed a pair of nice sneakers from the few pairs of shoes Neil had spread across the floor and passed it all to Neil. 

“Change.”

Neil barely had time to react before Andrew was out, swinging Neil’s bedroom door closed behind him. He got dressed quickly and slipped on the shoes. 

Before he left the room, he gave himself a once over in Aaron’s full length mirror and was struck by his eyes, always too blue for his taste. Next to the blue of his shirt, they seemed to pop even more. He glanced at his closet. Andrew would understand if he didn’t wear the shirt. 

Neil looked at himself again, and this time found the effect less disarming. He even sort of liked it. He gave himself one smile before pulling open the door and walking into the living room. Aaron had joined Andrew on the couch, the two sitting with practiced uniform precision, arms crossed across their chest. Neil looked at Andrew.

“What do you think?”

“Acceptable.”

“Better than you usually look.” Aaron added. 

“I don’t dress that bad.”

Aaron gave him a look, but before Neil could argue, there was another knock on the door and Neil left the twins to unlock it. Kevin strolled in, taking a look at Neil as he passed.

“Wow. You actually look decent.”

“Hey!”

Aaron snorted on the couch. Andrew watched them all, unimpressed, although Neil caught the slight twitch of his eyebrow that indicated he thought it was funny. 

“I have nice clothes.”

“I know. Abby bought them. They’re hanging in that closet with tags still on them.”

“I just like to be comfortable.” Neil said.

“No Neil, you like to hide.” Kevin said, not unkindly. Andrew’s eyebrow hitched at that, interested. Neil brushed them both off and Andrew stood, already walking towards the door.

“Let’s go.”

They approached the Maserati, throwing their overnight bags into the trunk. Aaron and Kevin made their way to the back row. Neil was going to slide in next to them when Andrew gestured to the front passenger seat. Neil shrugged and climbed in, sinking into the leather seat. They didn’t go far, heading through campus to Nicky’s dorm on the other side of campus. 

Neil hadn’t met Nicky yet, but he’d seen a few pictures on Aaron’s side of the dorm. The pictures didn’t prepare him for Nicky’s energy, loud and bright as he clambered into the backseat next to Aaron. He eyed Kevin and Neil for a moment before sticking a hand out, gold bracelets clacking together and fingernails sparkling with glitter polish. 

“Nicky.”

“Neil.” 

Neil took his hand and Nicky held onto it for a moment, studying him. 

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“You have?”

Andrew growled and Nicky dropped Neil’s hand, leaning back. He exchanged introductions with Kevin while Andrew made his way through campus and onto the main road. Neil watched him for a moment, blonde hair almost translucent in the warm glow of the streetlights. 

“Staring.” Andrew said, low enough that only Neil heard him.

Neil just looked away, putting his eyes on the road ahead, biting his cheek to hide his smile. 

Neil and Andrew talked quietly in the front seat most of the way, the boys behind them discussing their plans for the night at a decibel too high for the backseat of a luxury car and creating a perfect sound barrier between themselves and the two up front. 

“Are you going to drink?” Neil asked.

“Not much. Someone has to drive us home.”

“I’ll be sober. If you needed me to drive.”

“Afraid of what you’ll say if you’re drunk?”

Neil shrugged, trusting that Andrew was watching him in his peripheral vision.

“Someone needs to be alert.”

Andrew didn’t have much to say to that.

“Kevin will drink two vodka drinks and disappear on the dance floor for the rest of the night.” Neil said, hearing the fondness in his voice for the giant man sitting behind him.

“Aaron will find a girl to pine over from afar and sulk that he can’t talk to her.”

“Sounds like a personal problem.” Neil said.

The ghost of a smile passed on Andrew’s face, but it was enough for Neil. 

The first thing Neil noticed about the club was that Andrew seemed to know all of the staff. Whether it was a handshake or the simple nod of a head, Andrew acknowledged everyone working as they walked in, Maserati safely parked in a VIP lot not far from the entrance and the rest of the boys already inside. 

Walking in, Neil spotted Nicky at the bar, collecting a tray of shots and drinks. Aaron and Kevin were tucked into a table at the far edge of the dance floor and there was a girl standing beside them, talking animatedly, Aaron and Kevin watching her with interest. Andrew sent Neil ahead while he helped Nicky. The girl was still talking when Neil approached.

“But I just couldn’t believe it when Allie said she knew a Minyard. I figured she must have meant you.”

Aaron shook his head, and seemed to notice Neil standing there. 

“Katelyn, this is Neil, my roommate.”

_ Katelyn.  _ Neil smiled and shook her hand. This was Aaron’s crush from his biology class. He’d never called her that, but Neil could tell. He’d spent enough time with Kevin to know what a crush looked like. 

“Nice to meet you Neil.”

“You too.” 

Neil looked at Kevin, and suddenly recognized the heat behind his eyes. Before he could stop him, Kevin leaned across the table to whisper into Katelyn’s ear.

“Want to dance?”

Katelyn looked from Kevin to Aaron and then gave a weak smile.

“Uh, sure.” 

Before she could say more, Kevin was off his feet and leading her away from them. Aaron watched them go, darkness covering his features as he watched Kevin disappear into the crowd. 

Nicky took that moment to arrive with the tray and set it down. Aaron grabbed a shot and slammed the clear liquor down his throat, snatching another with such force Neil expected the small glass to shatter in his hands. 

“Whoa, slow down there. Save some for the rest of us.”

“He can have mine.” Neil said, watching Aaron, who hadn’t taken his eyes off the dance floor.

“Where’s Andrew?”

Nicky looked back at the bar, and Neil followed his gaze. Andrew was still at the bar, talking to a girl. She was taller than him, with blonde hair, the tips of which seemed to have been dipped in cotton candy. They weren’t saying much, but Andrew was watching her intently. Neil swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and tore his gaze away. 

“I’m going to smoke.”

Maybe he’d collect Andrew on his way outside. But when Neil turned back to the bar, the two blondes had disappeared. Nicky waved him towards the back and Neil slipped back into the moonlight. The smoking area was pretty empty, save for the couple in the darkest corner, sharing a cigarette between them while they talked quietly. 

Neil took up a spot against the building, the wall behind him reverberating ever so slightly to the beat of the music inside. He pulled out his pack and fumbled in his pockets for a lighter, coming up empty. He groaned, picturing it abandoned in the pants he was wearing when Andrew had arrived earlier. 

“Need a light?”

Neil turned to find a guy standing next to him, lighter already out, unlit cigarette hanging from his fingers. Neil nodded. The guy extended his hand and let Neil get his cigarette going before he pulled back. 

“Thanks.”

He moved into the space next to Neil on the wall, kicking a leg up to rest the sole of his shoe on the brick behind. His jet black hair was longer, hanging loose around his brown eyes. He flicked his head, pushing the hair out of his face a bit. He turned to watch Neil for a moment.

“I’m Spencer.”

“Neil.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Neil gave him a small smile and turned, planting his back flat against the wall and bringing the cigarette to his lips. 

“Nice night out.”

Neil just grunted, a habit picked up from hanging out with Andrew. 

“Not much of a talker.”

“I don’t really get small talk.”

“Ah. Well then, I’ll cut right to the chase. You’re gorgeous.”

Neil looked at him, and took a pull from his cigarette. 

“Oh.”

He leaned in and Neil took a step back, shoulders sliding across the wall.

“Neil.”

Andrew stood in the doorway, not caring about the group trying to get around him. He glared. Neil pushed off the wall and moved around Spencer to get into Andrew’s line of sight. Andrew’s glare went from Neil to Spencer and back again.

“We’re leaving.” Andrew said, words harsh and curt. 

Neil took a step towards him, ignoring Spencer’s attempts to get his attention. He followed Andrew inside and spotted Nicky talking to the blonde girl Andrew had been with while Aaron waited by the door. 

“Where’s Kevin?”

Andrew said nothing and just walked past Nicky.

“Bye Renee. It was nice meeting you.” Nicky cooed, catching up to Andrew and Neil.

“Where’s Kevin?” Neil asked again. This time Nicky replied.

“He should be...right there.”

As they walked outside, Neil saw Kevin waiting under a street light. As they got closer, he noticed the red blooming along Kevin’s jaw.

“Kevin! What happened?”

“Ask Aaron.”

Neil looked at Aaron and, for the first time, noticed the ice pack he was holding to his right hand.

“What the hell?”

No one explained further. As the boys piled into the back seat, Neil caught Andrew’s gaze and gave him a questioning look. Andrew just shrugged. 

“He flirted with someone he shouldn’t. Feelings were hurt.” Andrew said, avoiding meeting Neil’s gaze. His tone was weird and laced thick with accusation. 

“So Aaron punched him?”

“Take it up with them.” Andrew said, finally shooting Neil a glance before sliding into the driver’s seat. Neil took his seat and watched the lights of Columbia flash by. 

It was barely midnight when they pulled up to a small house. Aaron and Nicky moved swiftly out of the car and around to the trunk, grabbing their things and heading inside. Only Kevin waited for Andrew and Neil and the three of them shuffled in. A door slammed somewhere upstairs and Andrew pointed out the bathroom and to the couch and the loveseat. 

“Fight amongst yourselves. I don’t care who sleeps where.”

Before Neil could say anything else, Andrew turned and marched down the hall, reaching a bedroom at the end and shutting the door behind him. In the quiet of the house, Neil heard the lock click into place. 

Neil looked at Kevin and then shoved him towards the bathroom. They brushed their teeth in silence and only after they’d finished getting ready and returned to the living room did Neil speak up.

“You going to tell me what happened?”

“Aaron punched me.”

“Yes, I realize that. But why?”

“He wasn’t exactly thrilled that I was dancing with that girl.”

“Katelyn.”

“Yeah. When we got there, she rushed up to the table. Apparently she and Aaron know each other --”

“They have biology together.”

“Well she was excited. Apparently her friend Allison’s roommate Renee had gotten invited to Eden’s by Andrew and Katelyn thought it was crazy --”

“Wait, Andrew invited Renee to the club?”

Kevin gave Neil a confused look and a shrug.

“I guess so. Katelyn was saying she didn’t even know that Aaron had a brother so she was shocked to see him there.”

“They’re into each other.”

Kevin gestured to his face.

“I realize that now.”

Neil let out a breath. 

“Oh Kevin.”

“I know. Not my best.”

Neil waved him off. 

“Just make up with Aaron, please.”

Kevin carefully touched his bruising jaw but nodded. He let out a yawn. 

“You take the couch, you’re bigger than I am.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Kevin put a hand on Neil’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze before he crossed to the couch, snatching up the throw blanket from along the top and laying down, covering up all the way to his face. In a moment, Neil heard the familiar sounds of his deep breathing, already fast asleep. 

“Night Kevin.”

Looking down the hallway, Neil whispered “Night Drew.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp, here's some angst no one asked for. don't worry, it'll get better soon.


	6. Andrew Minyard Is Not Jealous At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Eden’s, Andrew closes himself off from Neil. Absolutely not because he was jealous. That’s not it at all…good thing Kevin is there to offer a few words of advice about Neil.

Andrew sat in a stiff chair in the study lounge, eyes fixed on his tattered copy of Treasure Island, re-reading the same page for the third time. It was Sunday night, and he was going to have to get up at 7 for his History lecture across campus, but sitting in here was better than staring at the ceiling or standing out on the sidewalk with nothing but a cigarette to keep him company. At least in here, he had Renee. He looked over the edge of his book at her, watching her cotton candy hued space buns bobble as she turned her head up to look at him from the couch. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, soft and sweet in a way that he would only allow from her. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re usually on the rooftop at this point of the evening.” 

Andrew shifted, the firm cushions of the chair digging into his lower back. Renee closed her book, sitting up so she could focus all of her attention on Andrew. He held her gaze, face impassive. 

“Is this because of Aaron’s fight with Kevin? Is Neil upset about it?”

Andrew shrugged.

“I don’t know what Neil feels about it.”

“Why haven’t you asked him?”

Andrew shrugged again.

“Are you avoiding him?”

Andrew felt his eyes harden on her but Renee simply dropped her gaze back to her book. She didn’t know what she was talking about. Andrew wasn’t avoiding Neil. He was simply waiting until he could look at Neil and not see the ghost of that black haired moron he’d found him with. 

Besides, they’d only gotten back from Columbia earlier that day, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Neil at all. He just hadn’t spoken to him. But other than Renee, Andrew hadn’t spoken much more than a few grunts to anyone today. He’d let them believe it was a hangover. Everyone but Neil seemed to buy it. Andrew swallowed the lump in his throat and stood up, stretching his hands above his head. He felt the familiar weight of exhaustion in his bones now, and knew as soon as his head hit the pillow, he’d drift off to sleep. Renee looked up from her book, watching him collect his things. 

“Good night Renee.”

“Good night Andrew.”

She gave him a look as he left that Andrew ignored as he walked back out into the quiet hall of the dorms, passing an RA doing late night rounds. As he made his way back to his shared room with Kevin, he could make out lights from under the doors of a few of the rooms, and the muffled grunts of late night gamers resisting the urge to scream profanities at one o’clock in the morning. 

He faltered when he saw a curly redhead at the end of the hall, but quickened his pace when he saw it was just the Chemistry major who lived a few doors down from him. He gave Andrew a quick nod as he padded off, eyes still half-closed, bumbling towards the shared restrooms down the hall. Andrew watched him go, cursing a little under his breath. How could he have even thought for a moment that beanpole was Neil? He had at least six inches on Andrew and the muscle definition of a noodle. The fitted t-shirt alone should have been enough to dissuade him of the delusion. 

Andrew was still annoyed at himself when his head hit the pillow, but because he didn’t stay awake long enough to dwell on it consciously, he was forced to dream about a certain blue eyed rabbit, waiting for him on a rooftop. 

By Friday, the bruise on Kevin’s cheek had begun to fade, a dull yellow now. Andrew gave it a once over as he passed the living room where Kevin had taken up residence on the couch again, a documentary on Russian political history playing on the TV. 

Andrew had intended on walking right by and heading to the study room, always empty by early evening on Fridays as students filed out of the dorms and onto the streets surrounding PSU for parties, various club events, and food from somewhere other than the dining hall. Instead he lingered in the doorway leading to their shared bedroom and watched Kevin watching his boring film. 

“Shouldn’t you be out somewhere?” He finally asked. Kevin looked away from the screen and met Andrew’s gaze. He shrugged.

“Nowhere to go really.”

“Can’t you go bother Neil in his dorm room?”

Kevin looked back at the screen, finding the remote and pausing. The image froze on a portrait of Catherine the Great glaring at them. 

“Neil’s not really talking to me right now.” He said quietly. Andrew felt his eyebrow raise. 

“Why?”

Kevin shrugged. 

“Getting slugged by his roommate was probably not Neil’s idea of a great night out.”

Andrew can’t help himself.

“He’s probably just mad you cost him a hookup. He’ll get over it.”

That caught Kevin’s attention and he turned to stare at Andrew, eyebrows furrowed with confusion. 

“Wait what?”

“Neil was getting cozy with some guy out back at Eden’s when you and Aaron had your little tiff.” 

Kevin laughed. He actually tilted his head back and laughed at Andrew. When he realized Andrew was still staring at him, he composed himself, turning in his seat so he was fully facing Andrew instead of the television. 

“What do you mean getting cozy?”

“I mean, Neil and some guy were talking out back. Flirting. Ten more minutes and we would have been pulling him out of a bathroom stall with his pants down.”

Kevin frowned, seeming to consider it before offering,

“Unlikely.”

“Why? Is Neil straight?”

Kevin was staring at him like he had two heads.

“Really Andrew?”

Andrew waited, thinking about the closest thing he could reach to throw at him.

“No. He’s asexual. If you’re ever seen his backpack, he’s got a little Ace Pride flag pin on it.”

Andrew just stared at him, wheels in his head turning. Kevin continued,

“Besides, the boy is immune to flirting. He legitimately went six months in high school without noticing that the kid he was tutoring in Biology was flubbing his answers just to have an excuse to hang out with Neil. It was painful to watch.”

Andrew didn’t say anything else but he did move to the couch and sit down beside Kevin.

“Does he date?”

Kevin looked at Andrew, considering the question. Andrew was fairly certain Kevin didn’t know why this information would be helpful to Andrew. Idiot.

“He’s never dated anyone, but I think he would. For Neil, it’s always about feeling safe and I don’t know that he’s found maybe people he feels truly safe around.”

Andrew nodded, thinking about Neil and his rabbit ways. He looked at Kevin and said, 

“He feels safe around you.”

The admission caught Kevin off guard, because he suddenly looked away from Andrew to the frozen image of Catherine the Great, tips of his ears pink in the low evening sun. 

“I think he feels that way about you too.” Kevin finally said, eyes still glued on the television. Andrew just grunted and reached over for the remote, clicking play. They didn’t speak again, but the room felt heavy anyway. 

Kevin had disappeared to bed hours ago, but Andrew still sat, staring at the dark TV screen, his mind probably working harder than it needed to given what had become very obvious to Andrew in the time between the start and end of his conversation with Kevin.

Andrew had a big fat stupid crush on the red-headed rabbit named Neil Josten. Now he was just wondering what to do about it. He was unwilling to admit that he had been avoiding him due to something as stupid as jealousy. He needed to think. He needed a cigarette. 

Before he really thought about what he was doing, Andrew was headed out of his dorm and down the hall. The study hall was empty when he passed, the light off for once, and the stairwell was echoey. It was only around midnight, so Andrew imagined most students had either already come home and passed out or they would be gone for another hour or so. 

When he pushed open the door, he was hit by a chilly wind, the first night that really felt like fall might be approaching. Andrew had prepared for as much and was wearing a heavier sweatshirt that usual as he stomped down the sidewalk, hands buried in the pocket on his sweatshirt, swinging open the door to the dining hall and quickly slipping into the stairwell leading to the roof. 

He threw open the door, eyes fixed on the edge of the roof where he knew Neil would be sitting. But when he got there, the roof was empty. 


	7. Aaron Minyard Plays Cupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron offers Neil a little advice about his brother, not that he’d admit that if anyone asked. Luckily for Neil, he actually listens to Aaron for once.

Neil was busy. He had midterms coming up, and Wymack and Abby’s wedding on the horizon. He was not avoiding anyone.

That was the mantra going through Neil’s head as he ignored Kevin’s call again. 

_ I’m at a study group for math. Call you later. _

_ Fine. _

He slid the phone into his pocket, swinging a right past the science building. He could cut through the atrium in the back and bypass Kevin and Andrew’s dorm. He knew that because sometimes he liked to study there between classes when the weather was nice and his dorm felt stuffy and claustrophobic. He wasn’t avoiding Kevin at all, although he did duck his face when a tall man with Kevin’s build walked past. 

Unlocking the door to his room, he was surprised to hear video games and swung the door wider to find Aaron sitting on the couch. 

“Kevin’s here.”

Neil panicked and almost left again, but Kevin had already emerged from the bathroom and spotted him in the open doorway. Aaron looked between them and asked,

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Neil said, shutting the door and locking it. “I didn’t know you were here Kev.”

“You would have if you answered my call. But apparently your math study group wasn’t very long.” He said accusingly. Neil felt his ears go pink, caught in a lie. He’d fallen out of practice with it apparently. 

“You can play with us if you want.” Aaron offered, either not noticing the tension or choosing to ignore it. Neil waved his hand, but sat down in the stiff arm chair across from the TV, leaving Kevin room on the couch. Kevin took his seat but ignored looking at Neil. Not that Neil would have noticed, eyes glued to the television.

“What’s my brother up to tonight?” Aaron asked, directing his question to Kevin, who just shrugged. 

“I'm guessing hanging out with Renee. That’s all he ever really does these days.” 

“I mean, they’re probably dating, so it makes sense.” Neil said, trying to ignore the gross taste that the words left in his mouth. Aaron let out a choked laugh and stared at Neil.

“What?”

“He’s dating Renee, isn’t he? I mean he invited her to Eden’s…”

“Right, because they’re friends.” Aaron said, adding, “Andrew’s gay. I really don’t think Renee is his type.”

Neil got quiet. 

“Oh. I didn’t know.”

Aaron gave Neil another confused look, but there was something like pity mixed into it. Neil looked away. Andrew’s sexuality didn’t explain why he’d disappeared. Neil had waited on the roof every night last week, until yesterday, when he’d come to the awful realization that Andrew might show up and bring Renee with him. Neil had taken his late night walk around the center of campus instead, letting himself disappear in the shadows of the main greenspace. 

“By the way, he thought you were hitting on some guy when we were at Eden’s.” Kevin said, as if he was just remembering the conversation. Neil shrugged but Aaron went still. In his distraction, Kevin was able to take a shot on him. Aaron barely registered, looking from Kevin to Neil.

“What do you mean?” He asked, voice somewhere distant. Kevin shrugged.

“I don’t know. He thought that Neil was flirting with some guy at Eden’s. I told him that you’re a miserable flirt and probably didn’t even know the guy was interested.”

Aaron twacked his hand to his face, sighing deeply.

“Neil, have you talked to Andrew since Eden’s last week?”

Neil shook his head. He didn’t really understand why Aaron was so interested in Neil’s relationship with his brother. Aaron sighed again and pulled out his phone, bringing it to his ear. 

“Where are you?” He waited for a response before grunting a goodbye and hanging up. He looked at Neil.

“Go to Kevin’s dorm. Andrew’s there.”

Neil shook his head.

“He doesn’t want to see me. I’m gonna respect his boundaries.”

“If you really respect him, you’ll go talk to him. I think you two have a lot to figure out.”

Neil just stared at the blonde, who scowled in a way that reminded Neil of Andrew.

“You like my brother, yes?” He asked. Neil stammered.

“I mean, yeah I guess?”

“No, like you want to date my brother, correct?” Aaron clarified, exasperated. Kevin sat next to him looking as dumbfounded as Neil felt. 

“Yes.”

“Then go talk to him.” 

Neil wasn’t sure why, but he stood up and headed for the door, grabbing his keys and shoving them into his hoodie pocket, heart thumping in his ears. Pure adrenaline carried him to Kevin’s dorm and he must have run at some point, because too soon he was knocking on Kevin and Andrew’s door. He’d barely lowered his hand from the heavy wood when the door pulled open, revealing Andrew, hair mussed and reading glasses slightly askew on his face. 

“Kevin’s not here.”

“I know. I came to talk to you.”

He gave Neil a once over before stepping out of the way to let him in. They stood looking at each other for a beat. 

“You wanted to talk?” Andrew prompted, voice monotone. Neil stood there, coiling his fingers together in the pocket of his hoodie. He hadn’t thought this far away. He really hadn’t thought at all, he’d just followed Aaron’s instructions. 

“Aaron said we should talk. Because I thought you were dating Renee and apparently you thought I was hitting on that guy at Eden’s.”

He watched a few emotions flicker across Andrew’s face before it went steely blank. 

“Whatever would give you that idea?”

Neil wasn’t sure if he meant Renee or the guy. 

“You invited her to Eden’s so I went out to smoke.”

“What do those two things have to do with each other?” Andrew asked, holding Neil’s gaze. Neil’s mouth went dry.

“Well...I got jealous. So I went to smoke and that guy started talking to me. I was trying to get away from him when you came out and found me.”

A cold rage crossed Andrew’s face and Neil continued,

“He was harmless but didn’t really understand personal space. He’d just leaned in when you came outside, so I guess it might have looked more intimate than it was.”

The rage had reduced to a simmer, but Andrew’s eyes were more alert than they had been. He took a step towards Neil and the hammering in Neil’s ears assured him his heart was about to pop out of his chest. 

“You like me.” Andrew said with a clinical detachment. Neil just nodded, not sure he trusted his voice. 

“I’m going to kiss you now.” He said and Neil let out a breathy “yes” before Andrew’s lips were on his. 

Neil had only kissed a few people in his life, but never like this. Andrew kissed him like Neil was oxygen and Andrew had been drowning for eighteen years. His hands hovered over Neil’s face and Neil untangled his own fingers from where he still had them in his sweatshirt pocket, resting them on Andrew’s so Andrew cupped his face, fingers firm along his jawline. He pulled back just far enough to mutter that Neil could put his hands in his hair before crashing their lips back together again and Neil’s fingers twined into Andrew’s blonde roots, anchoring him to the other man without causing him pain, light enough Andrew could pull away without force. 

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, or how they moved from there to Andrew’s bed, but he knew suddenly he was sharing Andrew’s pillow, surrounded by his scent, and peppering kisses across his face, brushing his chapped lips against Andrew’s sharp cheekbones and his perfectly straight nose. 

“Drew.” He said between kisses, distracted by Andrew’s palms on his shoulder blades, arms wrapped around him. Andrew let out a hum in response, eyes closed by listening. 

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

He wasn’t sure why he’d asked. Maybe because this felt more like a pipe dream than anything that could be his real life. 

Andrew pulled away from him, not far enough to put any real distance between them but out of reach of Neil’s lips. He opened his eyes, hazel and completely blown out and Neil suddenly realized the terrible mistake he’d made in asking. Andrew was going to say no and Neil was unsure of what to do when he did. Maybe he could just pretend he was drunk. Or he could switch rooms with Aaron and never see either of them again. Maybe he could just flee Palmetto all together and change his name; he’s always felt like he could be an Alex, a Stefan or a Chris. Andrew seemed to sense his panic and let out a sigh, 

“Yes you idiot.” 

Neil was pretty sure he’d never smiled so wide in his life and leaned in for another kiss. 


	8. Running Shorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew goes with Neil to the track...for science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really just pure rot your teeth out fluff because 2020 is hard and we deserve a little break

Andrew felt the mattress shift, leaving behind cold air and a Neil shaped hole in his bed. 

“Drew.” Neil whispered. “I’m leaving. I’ve got to get to the track.”

He grunted, cursing under his breath and pulled the comforter up and over his head without opening his eyes. 

“I’ll see you later.”

Andrew grunted again, but held open the comforter, letting it drop as he felt Neil lay down again.

“I really do need to go.”

“No.”

Andrew could sense Neil smiling even though he still hadn’t opened his eyes and he wrapped his arms around the other boy’s small frame and pulled him in close, nuzzling his face into Neil’s neck. Neil settled in, arms draped carefully across Andrew’s shoulders, drawing faint patterns on his shoulder blades. 

“It’s not even track season. Why do you have to go to practice?” He huffed into Neil’s neck.

“Because some of the guys like to do conditioning together. It’s easier to stay in shape for the season that way."

Andrew sighed. He knew he couldn’t keep Neil there forever, he just wanted a few more minutes to wake up. 

“You could come with me. Run with us?” Neil offered. Andrew bit his neck lightly in offense and Neil let out a yelp, fingers flexing on his shoulder blades. 

“Do I look like a runner to you?”

Neil let out a breathy laugh but didn’t say anything else, body still uncoiling. Andrew moved his head, bringing it to rest on Neil’s pillow, his hazel eyes finally open and meeting Neil’s icy blue ones. 

“Morning.” Neil said, suddenly soft and quiet. He looked from Andrew’s eyes to his mouth and back again. “Yes or no?”

“Yes.” Andrew said, quiet too. Neil leaned forward and kissed him, slow and languid. Andrew let himself be kissed for a few minutes before he finally pulled away from Neil.

“I’ll go with you. But I’m not running.”

Neil smiled wide and unwound his arms from around Andrew to stand up, pulling on Andrew’s hand to bring him along. Andrew moved more slowly, lumbering out from under the covers like a bear leaving his cave after hibernation. Neil stepped into the living room, leaving Andrew privacy to quickly change into real clothes and brush his teeth. When he emerged, he found Neil perched on the arm of the couch, staring at the TV, which was playing the sports network. 

“Junkie.”

Neil shrugged and gave him a smile that nearly turned Andrew to putty right there. Instead of giving in to the sensation, Andrew headed for the door.

“Come on.”

Neil hopped up and was by his side instantly. 

Andrew had brought a book with him, intent on sitting on the bleachers at the track and reading while Neil ran pointless circles. Instead, he found that he couldn’t keep his eyes off his rabbit, who had changed into running shorts that seemed to highlight his best assets. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Neil in something other than sweatpants except that night at Eden’s, and he’d forgotten how toned his legs were. 

Neil, maybe sensing his gaze, slowed coming around the track on the side closest to Andrew and shot him a wink as he stopped near his bag, grabbing his water bottle while the other boys continued around the track. Andrew took the opportunity to pull himself from the cold metal bleacher and made his way to the fence surrounding the field. He lifted the latch on the gate and walked into the inner area, stopping by the bench as Neil stretched out. 

“Having fun?” Neil asked, looking at him. Andrew shrugged but didn’t move away. Neil stood upright, dropping his water bottle back into his bag and taking a step in front of Andrew.

“I’ll be done in twenty minutes or so.”

“Do whatever you want Josten.”

Neil smirked and leaned forward, but whatever he was going to say or do next was interrupted by his teammates’ arrival. Andrew and Kevin exchanged a nod. Andrew was pretty sure Kevin hadn’t come back to the room last night but his neutral expression made it hard to say if that was by choice or not. He imagined his brother may have strongly suggested Kevin stay in Neil’s room. 

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Matt.” 

Andrew looked at the tall Black man standing beside Kevin, hand outstretched with a dopey grin on his face. Andrew shook it and then shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Nice to meet you.”

Matt looked between Andrew and Neil, as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle but didn’t say anything. Maybe some of Neil’s teammates weren’t as dumb as Andrew had suspected. 

“We should keep going before we start to cool down.” Kevin said, eyeing Neil. 

“I’ve actually gotta go.” Neil said. Andrew fought the urge to look at him. “I have a big exam that I need to study for.”

“But Neil, your training….” Kevin started. Neil cut him off with a look.

“Can continue next week. I have to keep my grades up to be on the team.” 

Kevin frowned but didn’t argue. Matt smiled at Neil and Andrew and turned back towards the track, pulling on Kevin’s sleeve.

“Come on man. Let’s finish up here. I’ve got a date with Dan this afternoon and I’d like to have time to get flowers beforehand.”

Andrew watched the boys move back onto the track, breaking out into a light jog as they rounded the corner before he finally looked at Neil.

“You don’t have an exam.” He said accusingly. Neil shrugged.

“I know. But you said I should do whatever I want, and I want to go back to your room and makeout with you.”

Andrew Minyard didn’t blush. But right now, he felt his cheeks get very warm and watched a grin spread across Neil’s face. 

“I hate you.” He muttered, knocking his shoulder into Neil’s as he headed towards the exit. 

“I know.” Neil said simply, twining their fingers together as they set off across campus.


	9. A Proper Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil asks Andrew to be his date to Wymack’s wedding. He plans a proper sleepover on the roof.

Wymack handed Neil a napkin and fork, Kevin quiet beside him as he dug into his orange chicken. Abby was off with some of her girlfriends doing a spa day in lieu of the more traditional raucous bachelorette activities and when Kevin had asked his dad what he wanted to do for a bachelor party, the older man had stared at him and then said he had some work around the house Kevin could do. 

So Kevin and Neil had shown up at noon that Sunday and had spent most of the day letting Wymack bark orders at them from whatever couch or doorway he could supervise from. They’d already raked leaves in the backyard and emptied the gutters before moving inside to swap out light bulbs and other odds and ends jobs. Neil was certain Wymack had been putting off just for the satisfaction of watching the two younger men do them instead. He couldn’t really blame him and was happy just to have some manual labor to perform. 

Now though, they’d settled into the kitchen and were happily filing their faces with non-dining hall food. Even Kevin had taken a second serving of lo mein. 

“Excited for the big day Coach?”

Wymack gave Neil one of his rare smiles and nodded.

“You two know that you can bring plus ones to this thing right? Abby’s worried you’ll be bored if you’re on your own. I’m worried you’ll get into trouble.”

Neil laughed. As far as Neil knew, Kevin was anticipating being Abby’s on-call assistant all day, moving flower arrangements and shuffling bridesmaids into place. Neil hadn’t really thought about his responsibilities other than standing at the front of the church and not laughing during the service. 

“Neil has a boyfriend he could bring.” Kevin said, slurping up a noodle. Neil’s head snapped to Kevin, ignoring Wymack’s eyes on him. Kevin continued,  “You should ask Andrew to come.”

Wymack had looked from Neil to the pile of food on the table, carefully piling more shrimp onto his plate. 

“I don’t know.” Neil said, trying to imagine Andrew standing next to him at the reception. Maybe even dancing with him during a slow song. His heart fluttered a little in his chest. 

“I’m not sure he’d want to.”

Kevin shrugged. 

“Never hurts to ask.”

Wymack finally spoke up.

“Do what you want Neil. Don’t let my son pressure you into anything.”

“Hey!” Kevin whined but Wymack just gave him an eye roll. Neil considered it. The idea of Andrew coming with him, of being a part of a big day for his family was….nice. 

“I’ll ask.”

Wymack nodded. 

“Good. I’d like to meet this kid.”

“I think you’ll like him.” Kevin said. Neil snorted.

“I’m not so sure of that.”

Wymack huffed out a laugh but returned to his food. Neil stabbed at a piece of chicken and considered how he was going to ask Andrew Minyard to be his date.

It was almost a week later, and a week until the big event when Neil finally had the perfect opportunity. 

_ Bring warm clothes. _

_ Where are we going? _

_ Just meet me on the roof. _

_ Fine. _

He could tell that Andrew wasn’t thrilled by this lack of details, but Neil wanted to surprise him and Andrew was too clever to not figure it out if Neil gave him too much information. Looking out over campus, the late fall sky a vibrant purple as dusk settled into night, he knew that this was going to be perfect. He flipped the switch, watching the string of battery-operated Christmas lights begin to glow, forming a wide circle around two air mattresses, sleeping bags and pillows piled high on each. It was getting colder every day and Neil wanted to grab at his last opportunity for a proper roof sleepover while he still could. Still, his stomach churned in anticipation for Andrew’s arrival. What if he hated it? What if he thought it was chessy and gross and broke up with Neil immediately?

He was pulled from his thoughts as the door creaked open and his blonde emerged from the shadows, his black sweatshirt blending into the dark stairwell behind him. Neil was suddenly glad he’d thought of the Christmas lights, because they cast just enough light across the rooftop that he could see the tiniest sliver of a smile on Andrew’s face before it dissolved into his usual stoic mask. 

“Hi.” Neil said. Andrew gave him a nod and moved across the space and into the center of the light ring with Neil. He looked like an angel in the warm glow of the lights, eyes flecked with gold. 

“So this was your big surprise.” Andrew asked, looking around, face steeled off and emotionless. Still, Neil could tell by his dropped shoulders and his soft eyes that he liked it. 

“Yup.”

Andrew let out a hum and eyed the two mattresses. He frowned. 

“You didn’t have to get two.”

Neil shrugged.

“I borrowed them from Coach. Wasn’t a big deal.”

That wasn’t what Andrew meant and they both knew it. Still, Neil wasn’t about to spring an outdoor sleepover and one bed on him all at once. He was still figuring out Andrew’s boundaries and they hadn’t slept in the same bed since the night they got together so Neil wasn’t about to assume anything. Andrew raised a hand to Neil’s face and Neil moved his cheek into his palm, fingers warm despite the cold air around them. 

“Thank you.”

Neil nodded and lifted his hand to rest on Andrew’s. 

“Yes or no?” 

“Yes.” Andrew said, letting Neil lean in and kiss him softly, hand dropping to his sides for a moment before Andrew brought them up to his hair, leaving Neil to play with his white-blonde crew cut while Andrew left his hands splayed around Neil’s rib cage, fingers seemingly holding Neil together as they kissed languidly. They stayed like that for a while, the sky a dark velvety blue when they finally moved to the edge of the roof, one hand on their cigarettes, the others laced together between them. 

“So Coach and Abby are getting married next weekend.” Neil said, testing the waters. Andrew nodded but didn’t look at him.

“And he said Kevin and I could bring plus ones.”

Still Andrew stared off into the distance.

“So I was wondering if you would want to go. As my date.”

Andrew finally met his gaze.

“Okay. Sure.” 

Neil was prepared for many answers. Yes was not one of them. He smiled so wide, he felt his cheeks pull taut. 

“Really?”

“Yes Rabbit. Besides, I want to see what you look like in a suit so it’s a win win.”

“I’ve been told I’m very handsome.” Neil said, still smiling.

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Andrew said, eyes flickering with a smile of their own. 

The conversation pivoted towards inexplicably to aliens at that point and before Neil knew it, it was 2 am and he was yawning.

“Come on Junkie. Time to sleep.” 

Neil nodded, suddenly feeling his exhaustion like a weight on his whole body, lumbering towards the beds. 

“You have a preference?” He asked. Andrew shook his head but moved past Neil towards the bed on the right. Before Neil understood what he was doing, Andrew pushed it flush against the other bed before pulling the sleeping bag open and shimmying inside. Neil just stood by, confused. 

“Come on.” Andrew said again, his whole face nearly hidden by the giant sleeping bag. Neil moved to the other side of the makeshift bed and slid into his own marshmellowy sleeping bag, turning to face Andrew. The blonde’s eyes were closed but he looked pleased with himself. 

“Night Neil.”

“Good night Drew.”

Neil could have sworn he saw a small smile on Andrew’s face, but he fell asleep too quickly to be sure.


	10. Have His Cake, and Eat Neil's Too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Neil go to a wedding and maybe discuss their own someday.

“Neil.” Andrew said, staring at the ceiling of their shared hotel room. It was pure white, not a single knick or water stain in sight. Andrew wasn’t sure he’d ever been to such a nice place before. They had a perfect view of downtown Columbia from here, the sun about to dip below the horizon. No wonder Coach Wymack had decided it was a great place to get hitched.

“We’re going to be late.” He said, shifting his weight to try and keep his own suit presentable while he waited for Neil to finish getting changed. Kevin was expecting them in the lobby in ten minutes. 

“I’m coming.” Neil said through the closed bathroom door. Andrew almost wouldn’t have believed him if he hadn’t heard the lock turn. He sat up as the door cracked open and Neil stepped out in his navy suit, basked in the warm light of the setting sun. He looked….

“Stunning.” Andrew said aloud, still getting used to being able to say nice things to Neil out loud. Neil smiled at him softly and moved closer, wedging himself between Andrew’s knees, his hands on Andrew’s shoulders. His little blue tie hung loose around his neck and Andrew gently tugged on it, smirking up at his redhead. 

“You don’t know how to tie a tie, do you?”

Neil blushed and shrugged. Andrew rolled his eyes, but gently pushed Neil away so he could stand, bringing his hands up to deftly tie a Windsor knot, Neil watching in delighted surprise. 

“How do you….”

“Nicky has forced us to a lot of family functions.”

Neil nodded, still smiling like a dope. Andrew scowled. 

“Yes or no?”

“Yes.” Neil said, letting Andrew kiss the smile off his face. Knowing their time restraint though, Andrew kept his kiss brief, hands firmly planted on Neil’s rib cage to keep from messing with his quaffed hair or perfectly tied tie.  Still, Neil whined in protest when Andrew pulled away, moving towards the door, Neil’s fingers threaded through his. He yanked on his hand, guiding him towards the hotel lobby. 

They arrived to find Kevin, already talking a mile a minute to Neil about the ceremony and the bouquet and all of the other things that Andrew didn’t care about. Neil gave his hand a quick squeeze, following Kevin towards a back hall, Andrew falling into line with the guests as they filed into the small back pavilion where the ceremony would take place, a perfect location for an intimate sunset wedding. 

Andrew picked a seat in the back row, on an end where he hoped he would be left alone and watched stoically a few minutes later as the bridesmaids made their way down the aisle until his redhead appeared with some friend of Abby’s, eyes darting around the rows of spectators until they landed on Andrew. He saw Neil let out a breath, shoulders dropping away from his shoulders as he smiled wider, like he thought maybe Andrew had changed his mind and run off in the fifteen minutes or so they’d been apart. Andrew shook his head a little, biting back a smile of his own.

After a mercifully short ceremony, Andrew slipped out of the aisle and into the hall as the wedding party made their way out, already waiting for Neil when he emerged from the pavilion. He dropped the arm of his bridesmaid and nearly ran over to Andrew, coming to a stop just inches from the shorter man. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I missed you.” Neil said. Andrew shook his head.

“You were watching me more than you were watching the actual ceremony.” Andrew said. 

“Yeah, well, you only know that because you were watching me too.” Neil said, the mischievous glimmer in his eyes too much for Andrew to take. 

“Come on. Don’t want to miss the cake.” He grumbled, letting Neil lace their hands together and drag him along to the reception area.

Two hours later, Andrew had had his cake, and Neil’s too and they were watching people couple off on the dance floor as a slow song started to play. Andrew pulled his eyes from the floor to look at Neil, his tie loose and askew at his throat, shirt unbuttoned a few buttons, jacket discarded over the back of his chair, and Andrew felt something like butterflies in his chest. He stood and offered Neil a hand.

“Dance. Yes or no?”

Neil nearly toppled his chair with the speed at which he stood up, his  _ yes _ a rushed plea, like he thought Andrew might rescind the offer. Instead, Andrew guided him to the dance floor, placing Neil’s hands on his shoulders and resting his own on Neil’s lower back.

“Why are you so stiff? It’s like you’ve never slow danced before.” Andrew said, shifting a little closer to Neil so they could sway almost chest to chest. 

“I haven’t.”

Andrew blinked up at him. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I haven’t slow danced with anyone before.”

“Oh.”

Neil smiled, a small crinkle forming around his eyes.

“I like it though.”

Andrew let out a huffed laugh.

“Junkie.”

Neil laughed too, fingers threading through the baby hairs at the base of Andrew’s skull, so delicate that Andrew wanted to scream. Instead, he just pulled Neil the last inch of the way closer to him, their bodies pressed against each other, warm through the thin fabric of their dress shirts. He could feel Neil’s heart beating rapidly against his own as Neil smiled down at him, icy blue eyes locked on his hazel ones.

“Do you think you’ll ever get married?” Neil asked. 

Andrew felt his throat go dry. He hadn’t thought much about marriage until he met Neil. Was that crazy? He’d only know the kid for a few months, and up until a few weeks ago, he hadn’t even known that Neil liked him back….and yet….

“I don’t know. Depends.”

“On what?”

“If I’d be marrying you.” Andrew offered, watching Neil go to putty in his arms. 

“I’d like that.”

Andrew leaned forward, lips almost on Neil’s, before he whispered,

“Me too.”

Neil whispered a yes and Andrew leaned in the rest of the way. Maybe he’d marry Neil someday, maybe not. Either way, he was pretty sure he was stuck with his rabbit junkie redhead for life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that, it's over. Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck around through this so fluffy it could cause cavities self-indulgent AU, it's been living in my mind rent free and I'm so happy to have gotten to share it with all of you. I have endlessly adored all of your comments, and can't wait to see what you think of the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! See you next week for the next chapter.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr @teen-content-queen  
> Leave kudos and comments, they feed my soul.


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